“You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver
Grieving parents often carry heavy expectations about how to behave. Society sometimes tells us how we should mourn or how long the sorrow should last. Those rules can feel impossible to follow. The body remembers love in ways the mind cannot control. Allowing ourselves to feel whatever surfaces—anger, sadness, numbness—opens the door to healing. Grief is not about perfection or fitting a mold. The heart and body seek what they need without judgment. Accepting that truth becomes an act of kindness toward ourselves.
The soft animal within each person carries deep memories and instincts. That inner presence knows love even when grief clouds the mind. The body’s quiet signals are worthy of attention. A tear, a shudder, a breath held or released—all are expressions of love and loss. Honoring these signs invites healing energy. Grief teaches that love is not a task to master but a presence to inhabit. Letting the soft animal love freely means allowing all feelings to be present without shame or resistance.
When grief feels overwhelming, the soft animal within reminds us of our humanity. The gentle stirrings of affection remain even in pain. No one grieves in the same way or on the same timeline. The invitation is simply to love what arises. Compassion toward oneself can be the foundation of peace. Being present with the fullness of grief allows love to live alongside sorrow. The soft animal within teaches us that love survives even the darkest moments.
Thought for today: Allow your body to feel love without judgment. Tenderness toward yourself opens space for healing.