“This is the real secret of life—to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now.” — Alan Watts
Grief pulls the mind into the past and hurls the heart into the future. Many grieving parents live between two places. Memory clings to moments once held so tightly. Fear imagines futures now lost or forever altered. The present moment often feels like a battlefield. Still, the present moment holds a secret many grieving hearts eventually uncover. Pain lives here, but so does breath. Right now offers one thing grief cannot steal: presence. The present moment does not demand that we be okay. The present moment only asks that we be here.
The loss of a child creates a fracture in time. Life before and life after will never reconcile. But the present moment becomes a kind of lifeline. A sip of warm coffee, a breeze through an open window, the rhythm of a heartbeat—these details ground us. Engaging with what is right in front of us does not erase grief. Presence does not deny pain. Presence gives pain somewhere to rest. Many grieving parents find that being fully here, even for ten seconds, is an act of courage. That courage builds slowly, breath by breath.
Living in the now may feel like betrayal at first. Grief says, “Do not forget.” But presence whispers, “Do not disappear.” The mind will wander. The heart will ache. Still, the body remains grounded in this very moment. Every act of awareness is an invitation. The invitation is not to fix the pain, but to survive it. Many grieving parents discover that attention itself becomes healing. The present moment can become sacred through its simplicity. Being here is enough.
Thought for today: Stay with one small moment. Let presence become your quiet act of defiance and your deepest form of love.