“There are two things I’ve got a right to, and these are, Death or Liberty – one or the other I mean to have.” — Harriet Tubman
Grieving parents often find themselves caught between the desire for death and the desperate hope for some kind of liberty. The pain of losing a child leaves many people gasping for meaning. The world feels suffocating. Every moment seems unbearable. But somehow, we keep breathing. Somehow, we choose to keep moving forward, even if that forward motion feels like crawling. The liberty we seek may not come in the form of happiness. The liberty we seek often comes as moments of quiet peace in the middle of despair.
Harriet Tubman spoke those words while claiming freedom in a world that tried to deny her dignity. Grieving parents must also claim the right to live free of shame. Many grieving parents feel pressure to “move on” or “be strong.” But strength is not silence. True liberty comes from honoring the pain without being consumed by it. We cannot escape the sorrow, but we can refuse to let sorrow define our worth. No one should be made to feel guilty for surviving the unthinkable.
Some days will still feel like chains. Memories will catch us by surprise. Tears will return without warning. But each act of care, each breath taken with intention, moves us closer to something like freedom. Liberty does not mean forgetting. Liberty means living without fear of remembering. Our grief does not make us less worthy of love. Our survival is not a betrayal of those we lost. Our continued presence is a quiet act of defiance against despair.
Thought for today: Claim your liberty, even in sorrow. Breathe without apology. Love without permission. Let grief shape you, not imprison you.