“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely.”
— Simone de Beauvoir
Grief often strips away identity. Many grieving parents feel helpless in the face of overwhelming sorrow. Even the strongest people can feel broken. After losing a child, strength feels like a cruel joke. The person who once managed everything may now struggle to make the bed. But deep within, a quiet resourcefulness remains. Grief does not erase intelligence. Pain does not remove the fire that helped us rise before. That fire flickers, but it survives. Strength looks different after loss, but strength still lives inside us.
Being resourceful in grief does not mean rushing to “fix” feelings. Emotional intelligence shows itself through honest presence and quiet resilience. Many parents feel the pressure to be okay for others. That pressure hides the need for healing. A resourceful parent recognizes that healing takes time and space. Some days may require solitude. Other days call for connection. No one else can carry the full weight of our sorrow. But no one else can define the path forward either. Each parent must find their own way through.
Grief may demand everything, but grief also reveals inner power. Demanding truth in the face of loss requires courage. Resourcefulness after tragedy looks like holding onto hope, even in pieces. Grieving people can be both broken and unbreakable. Grieving parents have every right to speak their needs, set boundaries, and define their own pace. Others may try to rush healing or impose advice. But the wisdom born from loss belongs to the one who carries it. That wisdom cannot be owned by anyone else.
Thought for today: Trust your strength. The wisdom of your grief is your own. No one else gets to lead your healing.