April 3, 2026
Self-Preservation as Strength
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde
Grieving parents often forget their own needs in the storm of loss. The intense pain consumes every thought and moment. Giving space to care for oneself feels foreign or even wrong. The mind may accuse such care of being selfish or indulgent. Grief does not allow simple rest. However, caring for one’s soul is not selfish. Caring for the body and heart becomes necessary to survive the long journey. Self-preservation is an act of courage in a world that demands constant strength. Prioritizing personal healing honors the memory of the lost child.
Society rarely recognizes grief’s toll on personal wellbeing. Parents carry invisible wounds that demand attention. Choosing to nurture the self challenges expectations about grief and resilience. Grieving parents often wrestle with guilt when seeking comfort. Society expects grief to be stoic, contained, or hidden. Rejecting those expectations becomes an act of resistance. Choosing self-care reclaims power over pain and loss. Embracing healing rituals creates a foundation for endurance. Self-preservation becomes a quiet revolution in the face of grief’s harshness.
Every small act of self-care builds resilience over time. Moments of peace or rest rebuild strength in shattered hearts. Grieving parents learn to listen to their bodies and minds. Healing requires patience, kindness, and permission to be imperfect. Self-care does not erase grief but softens its edges. Creating boundaries protects fragile emotions from further harm. Loving oneself fuels the ability to love others through pain. A parent’s survival honors both themselves and the child they lost.
Thought for today: Caring for yourself is an act of strength. Choose healing as a form of quiet resistance.

On August 16, 2017, my son, Anthony James Cristello, took his own life at the age of 35. That day, I joined a worldwide club no one ever asks to be part of.
Thank you for letting me share my experience, strength, and hope with you. I only ask this: believe that I believe—hope is possible.
Bob
Disclaimer:
CopingWithSuicide.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content on this site is intended for informational and peer-support purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health professional or call a suicide prevention hotline in your area.